Day 15

What a joyous Sunday. Well at least it started out that way. I made the kids breakfast and than started to get everyone semi ready for church. We have late church which is really nice. After lunch we finished getting ready and headed to church. Relief Society was wonderful. We had a lesson about putting our trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus. It was meant for me. With Daniel gone it is hard for me to let some of the burden go and lean on others. I tend to think I can do it by myself. McKadi had a talk in Primary and did really well. She talked about the scriptures being the word of God. Sacrament meeting started out okay. Half way through it just sort of hit me. I didn't feel good and just wanted to lay down and cry. So we came home and had some dinner. I tried to eat it and realized I shouldn't have. My head hurt and my body just ached. All I did was lay around until it was time to get the kids ready for bed. I say bedtime was disastrous would be an under statement. It started when I simple asked McKadi to pick up the 10 toys that were on the floor while I took out MaKayla's hair. The world ended. She threw a huge fit about why she had to do it and kept saying she needed help. I left the room and let her scream. Well MaKayla is very sensitive when it comes to her family. She started crying because McKadi was so upset. So after a few minutes of this I was ready to sit down and cry myself. My mom came to the rescue and sat the girls down and got them calmed down. She then told them that they needed to listen to me and to do what they were told. After tears and hugs and lots of loves everyone was ready for bed. I had a good talk with my mom after that and was able to calm down. Daniel has been gone for two weeks and this is the first time I have let myself cry or do anything besides be strong. Daniel called later and I was able to talk to him for a while. That is always the best part of my day. We are trying to make some serious decision with regards to our family and our military career. I am selfish and want my husband home. So we will pray and think and see what happens. Until tomorrow.